we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
