So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
