i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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