Porn is love you can see.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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