guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
