I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
