Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
