I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
