my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
