I got chris browned last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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