Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
