He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The adults are the big ones right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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