My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
