I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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