Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Having a random hookup so left but love u
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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