i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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