So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
