i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
