the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
