I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The feeling are messing with the penis
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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