She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
