Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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