I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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