I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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