that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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