stop calling my apartment porn island.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
