69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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