Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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