we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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