I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize