Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
