I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
