You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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