The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
