College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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