Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize