he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have tasted many bathrooms
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
