I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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