sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh god it's open bar.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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