Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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