Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
