Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
wanna go halves on a baby?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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