Me. At least after what I've been through.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
