My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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