It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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