Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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