no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
