Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
