who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
