I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just blew my weed a kiss
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
