So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
