Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
