that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
