Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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