Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
