I can't breathe out the right side of my face
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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