I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
