The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
