I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
