I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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