so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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