Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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