So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
