OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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