I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
