If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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