mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
