I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
